The Enchanted Life

So, i've already started looking at dresses because everything else will be easy to organize, but getting dressed for me is a singularly arduous task that quite frankly I'd eliminate from my day if I could. Unfortunately no clothes in public = being arrested. Picking out The Dress for one of the most important days of my life is going to be like swimming against a hurricane.

Anyway, whilst consulting with my BFF Google, I cam across some pretty ones (pretty but not for me), some gorgeous ones (again, not for me) and then shit went straight to hell in a handbasket. My. God. The things people wear when they're getting married will blow your mind. Seriously.

And being the generous soul that I am, I had to spread the mirth -

Ladies and gentlefolk of the internet, welcome to the Wedding dress hall of shame...

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is just FULL of wedding badness and I love it. If you ever have a bad day, just Google it - you can thank me later.

The worst thing is, no-one seems to notice that her rather unmissable ta-ta's are literally trying to run away from that dress.

This poor soul obviously has NO friends...friends don't let friends leave the house looking a fool.

Even cartoon characters get gypped every now and then (Cinderella anyone?!)

She actually WANTED this dress, it wasn't just Cinderella's stylist getting crazy with the pink...

Dresses are usually supposed to COVER. I'm going to assume she didn't get the memo.

I'm assuming she's BFF's with the lil mermaid above her.

Celebrity hall of shame belongs to three ladies...

Mariah...

Carrie Bradshaw...and don't even, this bitch is wearing a BIRD on her head.

But my 'Oh good god, WHYYYYYYYYYY?!!! WHYYYYY??!!!!!' award goes to Ms Nicole Richie.

Goddamn. I know she loves vintage and all and I'm super stoked for her, but...she of all people should know that apart from Apple, Miss Pacman and skittles, nothing good came out of the 80's. she should ask her dad, I remember that jheri-curl he had going circa '88. *shudder*.

Oy vey. But hey, if she's happy then more power to her, but I do have to say that I for one, will NOT be rocking a poufy tulle and organza number. the less crap on it, the better, unless it's elegant.

*shudder*.

Peace, Love and sequin-free cupcakes,

Belle xxx

Ugh. Just as the above starts to happen, the below fucking kicks in...

Ain't that some shit.

Stats: 48kg (bloating included - woop woop!)

Apart from almost falling over and cracking my nut open on the tiolet bowl last night (dear Mother Nature, why do you always give me the fucked up option of either up-chuck or the runs as PMS warnings?!), I worked out hard these past few days.

I went even when I was tired, pissed off, in need of some alcoholic amnesia and sweet baby Jesus. and I killed it. I must say, I've missed the eleptical machine and aerobics and pilates. I've missed endorphins and worthwhile sweat.

I've missed feeling in control of my life and my body and my decisions.

2012, bring it on.

P.L.C,

Belle xxx

Yes, the title of this post is from a Britney Spears song. Sue me.

So helloooooo my lovelies! Sorry I've been gone, but shit has been hitting multiple fans of late and I didn't have the head space or time (hate when that happens) to verbally assault the interwebz of late. Frowny face.

So, as you might know, King and I are getting married (it's SO wierd to write that down...Awesome but cray as hell). So as soon as I told my mother, I knew that she was excited and super mega over the moon but I did NOT in any way, shape or form forsee Mamma Dukes turning into Mom-zilla of the bride.

HOLEEEEE MOLEEEEEE, she's off like a G6 planning things and contacting people for our engagement ceremony in Africa this christmas/new years', and all of that shit that quite frankly I'm happy that she's doing - mostly cause it means I don't have to. Planning things is already a big enough hassle, doing it at a distance in my opinion WILL actually turn you into a screeming banshee.

ANYwho, so I got requests from several of you (actually way more people than I thought even read this bad boy) to write down how King proposed and even though 9/10's of it I will keep to myself, suffice to say for someone who doesn't talk a lot, when he needs to, King brings his A-game.

Quoth he from down on bended knee in the middle of a crowded space, 'You are the love of my life and I want to live and experience all of my good and bad moments with you and stand by you in all of your good and bad moments. Since you came into my life, every day has been better, the sun has been brighter and the moon shines like never before. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?'

C'MON NOW?!!!!!! How can you say no?!!

And so I said 'yes'.

I am many thing but a complete and total fool I am not. when I think about a future life without King, it seems like a big black hole. It seems like a big black hole ANYWAY, but going into that hole holding the hand of the person I love makes it all the more bearable. I am not perfect, I know that I make mistakes and with King, I made some too - some bigger some smaller but I don't deny they exist.

Accepting his proposal makes me realize that my heart no longer belongs to just me, my good days and my bad days are no longer just mine and that every mistake I make will have consequences on two people, not just me. It's hard to explain what I mean, but let's just say, I'm not taking it for granted and I am going to do my best to never take it for granted.

I am getting married to the human love of my life (C'mon now, my shoes?! how can I forget my shoes?!) and I couldn't be happier!!!

Peace, Love and LOVE cupcakes,

Belle

So guess what I did last night?

I got engaged!!!!

That's right, at the wedding of a friend of ours, he got down on bended knee and popped the question. Pretty much every one of our friends, who was at the table fell over dead. as I think I've said many times before, he is not the loquacious type.

Despite our various differences, I love this boy to death and I wouldn't have chosen anyone else to spend the rest of my life with!

Peace and LOVE!!!!

Belle xoxo

GOOD MORNING!!!

Yesterday's stats:

Breakfast - green goodness shake...check it out HERE.

Lunch - at the Queen Mother's house, lots of meat and some veg (BOO!)

Dinner - Tuna and strawberries.

Okay, so yesterday was not the best day, but thus far today I am doing WAY better. Breakfast was a green goodness shake and snacking on butter-free popcorn. Hitting the gym tonight as I need to get started on that.

I think Pilates is on tonight.

Alright, so I got a private message wondering why I had flipped out and was suddenly posting my nutritional information online. To explain, I've always been a bit of a health freak, going way back to when I was an allergy laden skinny ass kid who was terrfied to eat anything in case it made me sick - my mother didn't believe in food allergies until I blew up like a whale from eating cocnut meat. I have always loved vegetables, seafood, fruit...and potato chips. I know that I get out of my body what I put into it.

I'm not a carb eater - apart from the occasional corn and rice infusion. I'm not a wheat girl and I hate pizza (I know, everyone always looks at me like I have two heads whenever I say this...). Bread and I have never been homies and except from my almost worshipful infatuation with cupcakes (more for the aestetics than anything else), I am mid-western farmer's worst nightmare.

I used to work out (last year, pre-op) four to five times a week. I was lean and mean. It also helped compensate for the amount of booze I was consuming. What can I say. So to go from that to being almost static for the better part of six months (alright seven, at a certain point I couldn't do sit ups because of my back pain) was BIG change and I am trying to motivate myself to do better, stop being lazy and take care of myself.

The idea of posting what you eat and how much you've worked out isn't necessarily an overshare, it's a method of keeping track of yourself. It's harder to mess things up if you know that you will be held accountable for it  by total strangers - it's like having a gym buddy you're not necessarily BFF's with, because if you don't show up, you WILL be held accountable for it.

It also helps you keep track of your progress.

If you've ever been to a nutritionist or even just watched the Biggest Loser, they advise you to keep a food journal, because maybe right NOW it looks like everything's copaceitc, but if you go back and read that entry tomorrow, you might be VERY surpsised. 'TEN barbeque chicken wings and a tray of rice krispy treats?!! WTF was I thinking??!!'.

So, wish me luck, babies and I will try not to bore the pants off you!!!

Peace, Love and pilates cupcakes,

Belle xoxo

Summer make-up makes me happy and smiley and excited for hot weather and the beach - which I always used to hate, but of late, we have reached a compromise : I will wear my sunscreen and the sun will promise not to burn the shit out of me. I got Chanel's April nailvarnish and I think it's safe to say we're in a mutually fulfilled relationship now.

(Yes, black people do get sunburned.) Anywho!

Yesterdays stats:

Breakfast - green goodness shake

Lunch - vegetable wrap with gluten free...wrap

Dinner - same thing. I cheated and had two alcoholic beverages, though.

Today will be better.

P.L.C,

Belle xoxo

So apparently, according to Polyvore what mu closet is missing is a pair of Margiela boots, a gold Chaneller and boxy knitwear which goes under and over everything - beige, noisette and black/grey melange are apparently my colours.

Oh, and it also agrees with me - I need those wine coloured pants. STAT.

Peace, Love and polyvore cupcakes!

Belle xoxo

P.S - Day one of the diet and no bullshit, I feel lighter!

So I was looking through my list of things I wanted/needed and had decided to save up for to see where I was...suffice to say, depression city. Also because they're expensive items and I make $0 per month.

So, I'm looking at the holes in my closet and plannning to fill them as soon as possible. Thus far, these lovelies are what I'm missing:

Hermes Kelly in black leather - pipe dream of the pipiest. When I hit the big time, this is buy numero uno.

Hermes Medor clutch in a nice beige colour...with gold hardware. Mmmmm, so nice. This one costs WAY less than our friend Kelly up there.

Balenciaga motorcycle jacket either in dark beige or wine. Wine, funnily enough is becoming my new black. It looks good on me and makes my skin look brighter and prettier somehow (try it - wine and chocolate anyone? Huh, huh?). And I need a new leather jacket.

My Chanel 2.55 - which I can find online for WAAAAAYYYY way less than Chanel boutique retail price. thank God. And I'm saving up towards getting me one. Christmas gift to myself.

Alaia belt - DONE and done, my friends. It was my Christmas present to myself.

Denim hole number one (we'll call it that even if it's less a hole than a desire) - a pair of J Brand Lovestory corduroy flares in a deep red or burgundy colour - I'm feeling the wine, can you tell?

MAJOR closet hole...a pair of skinny black jeans, preferably J Brand - my favourite denim brand. HOW is it possible that I have this hole in my closet??!!! It's almost funny. But yes, my name is Belle and I do not own a pair of black skinny jeans, even though I feel the lack of them everyday.

And now for the most complex issue - shoe closet holes.

So this past year, I have filled the following holes in my shoe closet (I know, with a habit as big as mine, you'd think I'd be hole free right? Yeah, no) - ankle boots, black pumps (funeral/meeting/dinner with the in-laws), beige pumps (weddings/christenings/summer parties), low heeled printed pumps (to spice things up a little), and winter sandals. And yes, my mortgage payments go directly to Christian Louboutin Ltd.

Oy.

Anyway, so the following holes must be filled:

A coloured open-toed summer shoe for parties, barbeques etc - I know, 6 inch platform shoe at a barbeque...high maintenance, who me? Also, this colour is the BOMB!!

A neon coloured pump - either neon yellow or fuscia. It's fun for the summer time, with jeans or a pair of leather leggings. Plus at 400euro, they're prety much free compared to my 1200euro friend below here.

A fun, colourful, sexy comfortable (I know it doesn't look like it, but you could run marathons in this particular model) sandal to dance the night away in.

The Pigalle either in black 120 without a platform, or 120 nude with a platform (which is called the Pigalle Plato) - not because I neeeeed them but because I might just fall over dead if they do not somehow weasel their way into my life before I'm too old to wear them.

THESE suckers in black napa without all the strass (I hate glittery shoes when it's gratuitous), WILL be coming home with me next week. I was going to go with turquoise suede...but if it rains, I'm fucked. So I'll be banal and go with black leather...and prey it doesn't rain and that the buttons don't fall off.

A glamorous, grown up evening sandal for evenings of culture during the summer - art exhibitions, glalery openings...walking around the house in my bathrobe. Y'know, the usual.

And lastly but not leastly....

Some non-gratuitous bling. That I would never wear so I will never buy them. But gosh almighty, aren't they just the prettiest dang things you ever did see?!!!

Number one priority though is jeans - it's embarassing to live a life sans jeans, when they are pretty much all I spend my life in. I got two new pairs from J Brand when I was home over Easter - some nice dark denim and a coated eggshell coloured pair.

I also got a pair of Equipment shirts - one turquoise and one white one. I've decided to start dressing like a grown up. Less raggedy t-shirt and more elegant blouses.

Stay tuned for my adventures in Polyvoreland!

Peace, Love and shoe heaven cupcakes,

Belle xoxo

Alrighty, so let's get this party started.

Weight: 109lbs / 49kgs

Height: 5"2

Target weight: 103lbs / 47kgs

Time: 1 month

Are we ready? Let's get this party started.

P.L.C,

Belle xoxo

New obsession, Catalina Su.

Bad ass woman, great make-up artist, BFF of Giuliana Rancic (who I actually SUPER adore) and a gym bunny. She's completely inspiring me to get off my hefty ass and do something about my self-esteem issues. Plus she's a juicer, like myself, a fan (unfortunately also like myself) of the odd potato chip, a skinny margarita drinker, and she eats pretty much gluten free and super healthy.

Seriously, check her out. I love her blog because she's honest (what other woman would post her weight on the Interwebs?!), works like a dog to get her brand off the ground and keep her clients looking the best they can and to support her shoe habit - plus she is also a lover of hair extensions!!

WOOP woop!

Apart from the fact that she's Asian and I'm black...I'm seriously getting the feeling that she and I were separated at birth! LOL!

However, from today, I am following Catalina's lead and recording my movements, food-ness and where I'm at with my goals - both physically and professionally!

I have a month to lose 2.5kgs and tone up my shit.

Like, hardcore.

It really troubled me not being able to work out and made me feel like I'd lost control of my life. Seriously - I was that attached to the gym. I am also giving up the joys of alcohol (if we call handgovers, rumbly tummies the next day and feeling like you've been runover by a steamroller 'fun'!) and snoozing on the internet after work. It's time to get my booty off the couch.

Peace, Love and Catalina Sue cupcakes,

Belle xoxo