So I read this list of 10 things that will help you live through your 30's better.
One of them was not putting up with other people's bullshit.
I've gotten better at it, and I try super hard to not let my spine curve. BUT every now and then it really curves. Like, I have this amazing friend who is helping me out insanely. But hanging out with her feels like a chore. Mostly because we have zero in common personality-wise. She's super negative, super depressing and super desperate and it drives me nuts.
Her whole life consists of finding a guy to marry, cyber stalking her ex, bitching and moaning and going to events that make her seem cool and intellectual (during which she manages to spend an INORDINATE amount of time texting). She could be so much happier if she just chilled out and stopped yearning and trying so desperately.
And I'm not so down with her snobbery. I mean, she's a great gal in SO many aspects, but the way she sneers (literally) and judges (vocally) others rubs my ass the wrong goddamn way.
So I'm currently holed up somewhere else and I'm sleeping much easier and much more restfully.
I think the main thing is that whenever I'm out with her we never stick to the plan and it drags on FOREVER. Like, I might have other shit to do today, but NOPE! we have to wander aimlessly around these faux cultural b.s events like thirsty sheep and all I want to do is have a glass of pinot grigio and eat ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy in my pj's. Not because I'm not interested in the event/show/whatever, but because the people that go to those things are just as thirsty as she is and I can't.
So in the spirit of not taking shit and not being around energy and oxygen theives, I'm hanging less with her and more with people who have the same personality traits that I have and who could give a hot shit about appearances, society's expectations and the general classist looks-based Italian social structure.
We're bad-ass designers, creatives, engineers, chefs, painters, writers by day and whoever the fuck we want to be by night. Our lives are ours.
And I plan to live my life that way.
I don;t ever want to be famous, or well-known or interviewed or even in the public eye.
I hate it. It goes against everything that I am and I fully plan to live my life for me. I want to be able to get rolicking drunk if I want, have a one night stand if I want, get married and divorced if I want, go on vacation if I want, buy, do say, eat, drink, love, fuck who and what I want and not have to explain myself to everyone.
I hate normalized society, it makes me want to scream. The 'appearance of propriety' is some serious ass bullshit, and kills more people that stupidity. And stupidity is long-term serial killer.
I'm all about manners, and behaving like a decent human being (give up your seat on the bus for pregnant ladies and old people, help people carry their baby buggies up and down the stairs at train stations, help old ladies carry their groceries and cross the street, make a stranger's baby smile) but having to adapt myself to what 'society' or others think is some grade A bullshit and I am having none.
So if we don't mesh - we won't hang out. ever. No hard feelings, no cruel words, just...you won't ever see me. Like, ever.
Easier said than done, but I'm throwing my back into it.