I need you to need me.
Story of my life, I swear to God. Finally meet a good, kind, cute, STRAIGHT man and WHAM! Out of the woodwork come crawling ten more.
It's like reverse Karma. everything you've ever wanted will come to you...after you've already decided on something else. And I know, I know, it has nothing to do with King. I love him and his crazy ass. It's me. I'm obsessed with the Honeymoon period. Once the glitz and glamma runs out of a relationship, I go running to someone else.
I'm a weenie.
There, I said it. I admit it. Once I have to REALLY give and REALLY care and REALLY be there, and not just because I have a cute outfit on, shit starts to feel claustrophobic and I start to get running. Immature, childish, cowardly - go ahead, pile it on, I can take it. Because here I am again, flirting with strangers.
Perhaps it's my way of feeling like I'm still Me even though I am now part of a We? I know he would never even think about flirting, it would never cross his mind. That's just the kind of person he is. He's like hot chocolate on a cold winter's day - hot chocolate will not let you down and neither will he. I, on the other hand, am paragonable to Vodka - sounded like a good idea at the time and it was good times for a while, but it will be the worst hangover you ever had.
But this is where I am at, every time I think of what would happen if I ever became a big enough asshole to cheat on him, and just the thought of him suffering for something I did makes me feel like throwing myself under a bus. And this is how I know I love him.
Way more than I thought I did.
Peace, love and cupcakes,